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p. xxvi

I was asking Josiah what he was looking for by the river? He says he is looking for a green stone.

I immediately took a picture of the stone – a Prasiolite, also known as a Green Amethyst – that I was holding in my hand. As I did, shivers embraced my being; I could feel liquid gold begin to drizzle through the puzzled areas of my heart."


p. 106

I started to really focus on it. What was this but-terfly saying? What did Josiah want us to know? Then I saw it.
“Look,” I told them, “the butterfly has a blemish on the right side of his wing and his left foot is missing, I think Josiah is showing us what happened to him. That the impact was on his right side and something happened to his left leg.”
Jeremy, Valerie, Michael and the grandkids, were all committed to my vision. They saw it too. We were all taking pictures like professionals, but it was Valerie who stepped in so close and took the picture that clearly showed us what that blemish on the wing looked like. It was in the shape of a heart. Our minds were blown.

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p. 115

In our hearts we hold you so dear
Crashing waves, Remembering the days
Laughing Soul, always wanting more
His hands that heal, we know magic is real
Light so bright, Pierces through this night
In our hearts we hold you so dear
In our hearts we hold you so dear
Art of wood, Inspired the greatest good
Guide you home, You'll never be alone
In our hearts we hold you so dear
In our hearts we hold you so dear
Cause you're my friend
Until the end
I just wanted you to know
Sacred brother
Return to mother

The universe calls you home

You're still my friend

Through the end

I just wanted you to know

Sacred brother
Return to mother
The universe calls you home
I say hey Josiah, thank you Josiah
I say hey Josiah, thank you Josiah
I wish you were here, but I'm glad you are free
So grateful I knew you, You helped me see
Life is so precious, You can't go it alone
We're all so connected, And we'll rise as one
I say hey Josiah, thank you Josiah
I say hey Josiah, thank you Josiah
In our hearts we hold you so dear
In our hearts we hold you so dear
In our hearts we hold you so dear
In our hearts we hold you so dear
~Brandon Walton~


p. 126

Of all the times of the day when the sun could come out, and shine its glory through the trees, and create Angel wings, it had done so the moment I was standing there. I knew it was Josiah.

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p. 140

I wrote these words and then the phone rang. It was Rain! We conversed about so many things as I reapplied the makeup I cried off. I walked out from my bathroom to see a small stuffed animal. It had been one month and honestly, I had not done much in that month. But trust me, I had walked from my bedroom to the bath-room often, and I had never seen this stuffed animal before. It startled me.
“Oh my gosh,” I said to Rain, “There's this stuffed animal sitting on the chair. Where did this come from?”
Immediately she asked, “Is it Taz?”
“I don't know, it looks like a little bear.” I snapped a picture and sent it to her. She tells me, “Yes, that is Taz! I gave that to him when we worked at the zoo!”
She then sent me a picture of two stuffed animals. The Tasmanian devil (Taz) she bought for Josiah, and her own stuffed animal she bought at the same time.

I asked my granddaughter if she had moved it to my room? No.
I asked Jeremy, Valerie and Michael. No. They had not seen it.
Where had it come from? I knew it was Josiah’s –- Rain had made that clear. But as you recall, we had taken a stuffed animal to Josiah. I had two stuffed monkeys with me on the drive, Joe being one of them! I am all about the stuffed animals, and I would have known if I had picked up this little one. Richard had not brought it in from the car, none of the kids had picked it up. Nobody knew where it came from. It had just appeared on the one-month anniversary, and while I was on the phone with Rain! 


p. 160

Jaye came to his Celebration of Life. She made sure Jeremy, Valerie and I were together when she told us that instead of flowers, she would like to gift the family a tattoo!
Immediately Jeremy said, “I love you more!”
“Yes! Yes!” Valerie and I harmonized, as grateful tears strayed from our eyes and a silent energy swept around us. Josiah’s, for sure.

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p. 161

Six days later, Josiah would thank Jaye. She was going through some papers that had been tucked away on her desk when a random drawing caught her attention. It was Josiah, drawn by the unfamiliar punk rock dude! That man had just sat there, drawing, and of all the things, people or places he could have drawn, he drew Josiah, and listened in enough to our con-versation to recognize the name of who he drew. There is no way to deny the vibration Josiah was walking in. From the higher dimension he knew one day he would be thanking Jaye for completing what not only I wanted, but he wanted too, that we all were tattooed together.


p. 181

Before I joined the tattoo revolution in my fifties, I had told Josiah, “If I ever get a tattoo, it would be a butterfly, with the words, beauty, strength, healing, music, and poetry in it. With a music cord through it, and symbols, representing all my children and grand-children in the cords!” It was just a small talk conversation.
Ten minutes later, Josiah handed me a picture he had quickly sketched for me. “Like this?” he proudly asked as I fixed my eyes upon his creation. He was all about his momma getting a tattoo!
“Yes, this is exactly what I am thinking, but better!"

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p. 193

Legoland was the destination of my youngest grand-son’s birthday. Legoland is extremely busy, I would be pressed to get a sign there. Yet without fail, Josiah would make his presence known. There is a boat ride at Legoland where you can steer your own boat through, what they call the “open waters.” I was riding with my ten-year-old grandson Blaze. He was hoping for the red boat. His favorite color. Our boat was pulling in, and it was indeed the red one. Blaze was ecstatic. We hopped in and he took hold of the steering wheel. Our eyes turned forward now, we could see the front of our personal ship and its number: 22! Once more this kid of mine was pulling strings that surpassed my ability for reason. 


p. 197

She emailed the book to Staples the day before the gathering. I wanted it there, visible for us all to read. At Staples, the clerk and Rain were dialoguing when I noticed a huge numbered sign behind the desk. It was the number of their next project to be completed. A huge 22 in bold black print stared back at us, becoming the backdrop of our heartfelt photoshoot. Rain knew there would be more to add to the book, so she purchased an extra box of the colored paper we had used. One hundred sheets. In the book, there were eleven unused sheets still. One hundred eleven sheets left, or 222, both sides.

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p. 207

I have a boot box full of years of writing. Poetry and thoughts. All those words my mom found so charming. Maybe I will find something to spark a new story, I thought. I dug the box out from under other books and writings and brought it up to my table. Rummaging through the years of words always makes me laugh, and cry. What was I thinking when I wrote some of this minutia? I kept digging, reading, and finding nothing that made any more sense than what was already on paper. Then I lifted the last page to expose the bottom of the box, and there lay a dime! A dime! I had not been in this box for years. It was in the closet, covered. A dime!
“Josiah!” Tears pooled my eyes. “Josiah, I will con-tinue.” I took the dime and placed it next to my pad of paper and continued. He was polishing my pain.


p. 209

The timing was perfect, Josiah was present. This tattoo I knew would be black, I had given Jaye some of Josiah’s ashes to mix with the ink, hence the ceremony and me wanting him tattooed back into my womb. I now have three matching tattoos with my daughter, two with Jeremy and “I love you more” with Josiah. Will I tattoo more of his tattoos on me, time will only tell.

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p. 228

We walked through the maze ropes, until we were stopped by the hundreds of people in front of us, and socked in by the hundreds that followed. You really must make peace when you are in a line at a theme park, that waiting, is part of the fun. And the best part of waiting is getting to know the people that create this new circle you are now part of. Before we had the opportunity to meet our new neighbors, a young mother shouted out, “Josiah!” (The light of Josiah between us).


p. 255

The clock continued to speak through numbers each time we stopped on the way home. As we turned the corner to my street and Michelle’s tires landed on my driveway, the car was no longer in possession of the clock, Josiah was. By now, Michelle was clearly aware of his signature, 22, and his deep love that comes at 10:22. The clock read, 10:22 pm. The song on her radio, “Don’t worry, Be Happy!” The exact words Michelle had quietly spoke over me that morning. We sat in the car blown away, speechless over the magnitude of Josiah’s ability to communicate with us.

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p. 263

“Look up, Mom, get out of the labyrinth. Nothing matters but this!” He was reminding me that I was looking sideways and taking my eyes off the spiritual lesson I was supposed to learn. As soon as I understood what he was saying, he flew towards me and away...


p. 268

What I was for sure about was wanting the exact tattoos Josiah had put behind his ears. He had spent some time designing, or shall I say channeling, the perfect fre-quencies, and meanings for these tattoos. One for the left ear and one for the right. The left symbol, “to receive and hear truth. Trust the divine flow of the Universe. Love unconditionally!” The right, “Allow wisdom to sing clearly. Hold clear, open and receptive to another. Expand patience!” This had to be on me. I needed these frequencies that were also on Josiah. I wanted teal for my left, this one was about truth and love, and teal is the perfect balance of green and blue, for the heart and throat chakra. Purple for my right, for the third eye and crown chakra. I felt complete and light when she was done. Like bliss had just filled me from within

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p. 269

I made it through the day, and I felt good about the way I had spent it. I was in “puzzling peace,” a state I have come to understand when a layer of myself is re-structured. Before I had a moment to recall the previous day, I got a call that help was needed to take my grand-daughter to school. I was leaving the high school drop off zone when my phone lit up from Rain. We had been instant messaging all day yesterday, swearing we would never be without each other on his Ascension Day again. Was she okay? I couldn’t wait to get home to find out, so I pulled over to read what she had to say, “Holy shit! Did you see that thing Michel made????? Did you get that????” I thought she was talking about Josiah’s brother Michael; How did I miss something he made? Then a picture came through of artwork with Josiah on it.