Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Thank you - I know I didn't say it enough, at least regarding the acknowledgement of how you truly felt about me.

I stayed in a place of misunderstanding in my mind. Not on purpose, I just didn't know any better.

I didn't know then what I know now.

How to regulate my nervous system. How to quiet that child who believes you were critical of me. and that was far from the truth. You got the brunt of all my unhealed emotions. Yet, you took it, understanding, "That's just Raina." You deserved so much more from me in the way of my perception. You adored me, maybe you didn't quite understand me, but isn't that okay? You didn't have to completely understand me. Your love was unconditional and solid. You were everything, My Mom. Deep down, I know I was a good daughter; my perception was being too quick to assume you were critical instead of helpful.

I hope I still made you proud.

A mother's love looks far beyond her child's imperfections, naivety, and misunderstandings.

In truth, you were always pure love.

I am so sorry I couldn't see what I see now.

I am pure love because of you, and I know you know all of this.

You continue to be my greatest teacher and the reflection of a mother's love.