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  • Raina Irene

Oct. 22, 2021 4 Years

I wrote this on Friday at the 4 year as I pondered all that has become Because of Josiah..

Raw and real .. I know you can relate xoxox

4 years.


How is it possible that 4 entire years have gone by.


This is so illogical.


It's nonsense, or NO SENSE.


I feel like it was yesterday that I heard you say I love you more, and Mom, It will be okay, I will be back to see you soon. It was just yesterday wasn't it.


It feels like yesterday when I held you in my arms the way Valerie is holding Violet.. New born into the spaciousness of what will be.


It feels like yesterday, you were "4 years old!" You had to get that front tooth pulled. Your tiny mind unable to understand what the dentist was about to do, but understanding when it was over, we would get a Dalmatian puppy.


It feels like yesterday, when we made our way to the front of the stage to listen to your favorite band.


It feels like yesterday, when I cried like a baby because you wanted to live the dorm life.


It feels like yesterday, when the road you decided to travel was one of adventure and culture and mysticism.


It was yesterday wasn't it.


Tell me how the years can blur into one unit of measure, into the moments suspended by time.


Tell me how today and yesterday are always the same.


Comingling together in the now I live in.


Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever, are they all one?


Today it feels blurred..


Today the number 4 seems raw.


And yet, today I seem to remember all the yesterdays.


All the laughter.


All the strength and healing that are our possibilities.


It is the yesterdays that bring me to today and lights the tomorrows.


It was yesterday wasn't it?

It was,

I know it was.


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