I woke this morning knowing Josiah had been in my dream again. It was vague, yet the knowledge was strong. I remember I had just gotten a tattoo on my lower back, which I do not have on my lower back, it was a large circle with 4 other circles interlacing with it. One at the top, one at the bottom, and one on each side. The smaller four circles were all same. They were the flower of life. The middle was the tree of life and another design that was gray. I was telling someone how the gray one was wrong and not supposed to be there.
I woke up so perplexed as a dream can do. Was he designing yet another tattoo for me? I have no wants for a tattoo on my lower back. I let some of it go, as I am in a weird tattoo process and the night’s mind can weave with our realities, But Josiah? That had been real, felt, and witnessed so much, that my heart was shattered. I had no choice, I had to give in to her, Grief. She is the grayness that is not supposed to be here, and She was powerful this morning.
Pandora was playing in the background. So many songs went unnoticed until “I see fire” by Ed Sheeran came on. For some reason, this song really brings me to my knees.
“Oh, misty eye of the mountain below Keep careful watch of my brothers' ( Mother’s souls)”
“Now I see fire Inside the mountain And I see fire Burning the trees And I see fire Hollowing souls And I see fire Blood in the breeze And I hope that you remember me”
Remember you? You are in my heart 24/7 interlaced into everything I do and with everyone, I am with, like those flowers of life you tattooed on my back! He was confirming he watches over my soul, our souls!
The next song that came on right after was “Here comes the sun!” by the Beatles.
I will put the words here, and you will see how you can relate them to grief. I heard here comes my Son! Your Son, Your Daughter!
“Little darling (Little Momma, my version) It's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling It feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the Sun, Here comes the Sun and I say It's all right
Little darling The smiles returning to the faces Little darling It seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the Sun Here comes the Sun and I say It's all right
Sun, Sun, Sun, here it comes Sun, Sun, Sun, here it comes Sun, Sun, Sun, here it comes Sun, Sun, Sun, here it comes Sun, Sun, Sun, here it comes
Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling It seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the Sun Here comes the Sun and I say It's all right
Here comes the Sun (doo, doo, doo) Here comes the Sun It's all right It's all right
(Here comes my son and it’s all right!)
Then the kicker came next..
“Wish you were here” by Pink Floyd!
Three songs in a row!
And he continued, As I went to YouTube to get the lyrics to of course listen to again and fall into the deepness of what was happening- when I got to Wish you were here, the one I picked without knowing said- Scroll Lyrics “22”. 22 is how Josiah talks to me in numbers!
The next song that rolled in from “22”-
Coming back to life! By Pink Floyd!
Tears flooded every aspect of my being!
My son was talking to me through song.
“I watch over your soul!
Remember that, remember me!
Here I come, just call on me.
And yes.
I am here, coming back to life as you do.”
Two days ago, I saw a license plate...
“Josal”. What it said to me was, Josiah Akoya Love.....
It was hard to get that picture on the freeway, and probably dangerous, yet it had to be done!
Beauty Strength & Healing…
Raina**
08/11/22